Stop trying

To Ben Demeritt,
Wow, are you serious? I would never want to get to know you your smaller than me and you are a weak and dillusional little boy. I am engaged to a hockey player who is four thousand times the man you could ever be even in your wildest dreams. Seriously give up trying I will never even speak to you. You are a complete loser.
Love,
Carrie Underwood

Love

Dear Shakira,
You are the most purely amazing woman I have ever seen in my long dramatic life. Your hip-shaking tantalizes and teases all my senses your blond hair causes me to move in a way that is "sexual" to say the least. Your colombian accent causes my ears to go wild and causes goosebumps all throughout my body. Your smokin hot body rocks my world in more ways than you could ever imagine. I'm no Beautiful Liar and those Hips sure don't lie.
I love you,
Mitch Brauning